Mourning sex

1. There is no one.
2. When you died I lost my sight.
3. When I was blind my fingers learned to count.
4. When I counted too closely I broke my hip.
4. When my hip was broken, I got pregnant.
5. After I delivered, my nose bled.
6. I could not decide if I could bury you an do I practiced putting wreaths on construction sites when famous actors died.
7. I when into analysis. The talking cure made me mute.
8. I drew buildings that were never built.
9. I went to the movies and sat still.
10. I lied when I told you I lied.
11. (morning sex so moving yes I am still mourning sex)
12. Freud himself wanted the cure by love and so he invented the counter-transference: phychic health is the abiliy to love and to work.
13. Your skull is in the cupping of my hands when I wash my face.
14. I see your shadow on every single green wall.
15. I love you here and there body to body word to word.
16. Time can be made: let's do it again.
17. We always miss the ending.
18. You are painted on the inside of my skin; the hard paint is cracked now, a hollow skull.
19. I left the house, the buildings I could not build, the vows we made.
20. I am dead. I have not survive our death.
21. In this after death, I stare for hours at crows, pluck black feathers from their heads, feel the curl of your hair where the bullet sliced through your head.
22. Darling I would hold you if I could.

Thanks to Peggy Phelan